How do they do it?

Last week hubby did a course with his work and one of the lecturers spoke about how he stays positive.  He limits outside interference from impacting on his levels of happiness.  There are things he cannot control and can impact him but he makes the most of what he can control and chooses to be happy.

And it sounds so easy.  I even gave it a try on Saturday and it worked for most of the day.  I’ve been ill since Sunday and trying to take it easy but yesterday despite trying really hard to be positive and focus on the important things in life, I let silly stuff get in the way.

Why is it SO hard???  When I have so much to be grateful for, why is it easier to focus on negative and draining things instead of counting my blessings?  I’ve tried everything.  Gratitude journals.  Journaling.  Starting the day with a religious reading.  Praying.  Limiting FB.  I don’t seem to get anywhere and it is so upsetting.

I cannot take certain people in my life and turn their attitude into a positive.  I’ve tried but I just cannot do it!  My parents-in-law just drain every bit of patience out of me and I find myself gritting my teeth after I’ve been in their company.  They take and take and take and take and take and then expect more and they NEVER give!  Hubby says he has no expectations therefore they don’t disappoint him.  He enjoys spending time with them just accepts them for who they are.  HOW?!?!?!

I have tried fellow bloggers.  I have tried SO hard.  My mother-in-law is the cheapest person you will find but the one with both hands outstretched ready to take more.

We hosted her and FIL for a braai two months ago.  We paid for everything (of course) and she still got us to buy tickets to support their bowls club.  R200 later we haven’t seen or heard from her.

We didn’t win the lucky draw but this is not what this is about.

She is obviously terrified we expect them to host us as a way to reciprocate.  We have more chance finding a unicorn!  Neither of us expect this.  We literally had to give a bag of tea for when we pop on for tea.  We have never made use of it.  We literally have more chance travelling to Mars.  On our newly acquired unicorn.  But she will not make a phonecall or any contact just in case.  My other theory is that instead of suggesting a dinner out (here we always pay for ourselves) she is hoping for another freebie.

And I just cannot handle it!  I cannot be the doormat daughter-in-law they expect and I want to say something to them but it will come out wrong, will be harsh and although 100% true, they will take offense.

It doesn’t seem to bother them how offensive I find them!

How do other people do it?  Any advice welcome!

xx

 

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