I’ve been feeling so out of sorts lately. Really tired and rundown – which I suppose after losing my Gran is to be expected. But it isn’t just that. I’m 33 years old and my parents still have the ability to bring out the bratty teenager in me with minimal effort. I constantly feel like the hardest thing in the world to work on….is the relationship with my mother. It is the most exhausting, least fulfilling, most frustrating part of my life and I don’t know why I put up with it.
My Dad is turning 60 in 9 days. Last year for my sister’s 30th we got the invite 6 days before the party. I said nothing, rocked up on early on the day and with hubby’s help we assisted my mother in the preparation to feed ungrateful relatives – or as normal families do it – have a party. Once the guests arrived we were pretty much ignored, when leaving, only my father and sister came out to wave us off. My mother had a new guest to feed so why stand outside saying goodbye to her eldest daughter?
My mother said she’d be doing the same for my father’s birthday this year and so we’ve been waiting for the invite and preparing ourselves to see some ghastly relatives (the 2 normal aunts, 2 nice uncles and 2 lovely cousins cannot make up for the rest I’m afraid). Usually upon arrival my mother will excuse her brother’s future rudeness by telling us not to take notice. It would never occur to her to tell her overbearing brother not to be rude. Everything is about her family.
So this year we’ve been keeping two weekends open as we had no idea when the party was taking place. It could be this one – 10th December or the 16th as it is a holiday or the 17th. All I’ve been told is that they are taking my sister to watch a show on the 18th. We’ve worked plans around these dates. I’ve re-scheduled a shopping day with a friend and we’ve put what we’d like to do on ice while we wait. And wait. We re-shuffled things so that we could go away this past weekend – couldn’t possibly book anything for the next two weekends.
With 9 days to go, I thought that it was time to ask if we needed to keep the dates open as we were planning on taking extra leave this month.
My mother says there is no party and she is sorry she didn’t let us know (yeah right). I’d like to know when she thought she was actually going to inform us? The amount of times I’ve had to tell hubby that we cannot commit to something or cannot put another plan in action until we knew what was happening has been going on for weeks.
I’m relieved at not having to see the majority of my relatives. But I’m annoyed that I had to ask what was happening (and told nothing was) before I could make plans.
We aren’t included in the immediate family dinner or anything. I’m allowed to drop the present off the night before.
I guess I’m irritated that I’m irritated because this is my mother and nothing should surprise me.
Yet it does.