A friend at the office became part of a couple a while ago. For years she openly looked down on me for being settled and married. Her weekends consisted of constantly being out and surrounded by friends. I used to dread Fridays because I’d get “So what are you doing this weekend?” I’d mention the movie we planned to go watch and get “so then what?” Actually then we’d go have supper at our favourite restaurant and enjoy a lovely date night but I could see her eyes glazing over and didn’t bother saying much more.
When she got a steady boyfriend she suddenly saw me in a new light. Maybe because I didn’t openly laugh when she said they spent cosy evenings making puzzles. I don’t do puzzles or lego or whatever they found enthralling but I’m too polite to smirk at someone else’s hobby, something her single friends obviously didn’t care about. She came up with the idea that we should have supper with our partners and she booked a nice restaurant for the four of us. I thought that was that but I was wrong. Horrendously wrong. I made the massive error of mentioning another restaurant hubby and I had enjoyed dinner at many years ago. She pounced on the idea and said I should book a table. And from then we had a supper club. One Friday a month where one couple would select a restaurant and one the next. Again and again. And again.
It was like losing a quarter of our Friday evenings. We used to dread it, then try make the most of it since it seemed impossible to get out of – there were 2 couples – we couldn’t say “catch you guys at the next one, we can’t make this Friday.” I would procrastinate when it was our turn to choose a restaurant. The hint was not received and I’d get a friendly reminder to remember to organise “for this month”.
One day it was announced that they had bought a home and they suddenly realised the cost of things. So it was brightly suggested that “supper club” be turned into “braai club”. Because it wasn’t enough to hijack 25% of our Fridays, we now had to entertain every second month as well. I tried to be diplomatic about it. I suggested meeting every second month. Was met with a look of horror. So we went to theirs to have a braai. And we hosted the following month. Spent hours in the week cleaning our home, doing a massive shop, spending a fortune on placemats (I thought ours looked old) and baking the night before after a really busy day at the office. Went to another braai (spent ages baking again the night before)…..
Somehow thanks to alot of avoidance and excuses and prayers that it would end…..supper club petered out. They got busy planning their wedding and the months melted into each other with every Friday evening being free to do with as we pleased. Hubby said it was like winning the lottery. I had to agree.
My point is that sometimes I get so caught up in trying to protect other people’s feelings I lose a bit of myself along the way. It could have been avoided – but no I had to try be nice about something I had no interest in.
I don’t want to seem rude but I honestly never want to be a part of a bloody supper club for as long as I live.