1.) My shoe collection
I have an indecent amount of shoes and I am very fond of most of them. There are very few I’ve bought that I’ve regretted.
2.) My book addiction
It is impossible for me to walk past a bookshop and not a) go in and b) buy something. One day it might happen but I cannot guarantee it.
3.) Being sensible with finances, planning ahead and being grown up
I have some friends who think it is very boring to plan ahead or be financially independent. They think it is clever to buy a fancy car but live with their parents rather than live sensibly and own a home. I didn’t do the whole ‘clubbing and partying’ thing in my twenties. I was too busy having fun being a newly wed and pottering around in our new home. I loved the independence and freedom and still do. I don’t think it is boring or stifling to act like a proper adult and take responsibility for your financial affairs.
4.) Figuring out that my time is also important
Growing up, my mother made everything about family and her friends. By family I mean every member of the family apart from me. Everyone else was more special, more precious and had to be spoilt more. My time was of little importance. If one of her needy friends needed something typed up she would happily offer my services (free of charge as my time literally meant nothing). As an adult I know that my time is very valuable and if I want to say no to something that will eat into it, I will.
5.) Hubby and I only weekends
I used to feel guilty for saying no to things. And so our weekends used to fill up with bring-and-braais, suppers with friends and family get togethers really quickly. One weekend hubby was getting over the flu and I said no to 3 different things. Supper club, family gathering and a dinner with friends. It was the most relaxing weekend we had enjoyed in ages. We looked at each other that Sunday evening both glowing with a tranquil weekend behind us and agreed we could do with more of those. So now we do. It is bliss.
6.) Impromptu weekends away
Sometimes during a busy week, we’ll decide to book a Saturday night away somewhere a couple of hours away. I love how an ordinary work day can turn around as we make an spontaneous booking and enjoy some time away from the hustle and bustle.
7.) Doing housework and laundry on our own
Hubby and I share the housework. Some people look at us oddly when they hear this. I actually enjoy ironing while watching favourite movies and find it quite relaxing. I don’t feel guilty for not having someone pick up and clean after me – so enough with the judgy expressions!
8.) Not having children and not planning any
The mummy-mafia at work would like me to feel terribly guilty but I refuse to feel bad about a decision that has nothing to do with anyone else. I even had our minister try guilt me into reconsidering when we had pre-marital classes. She had the nerve to ask if having a sibling with special needs had made me decide this. For the record it hasn’t. And I didn’t just decide on my own – hubby and I made the choice together many years before getting married.
9.) Indulging in my creative side
I’ve always wanted to write for a living. Even if it meant working for a magazine and doing tedious tasks until I could write. It has never happened but I refuse to give up. I often write little features for an online publication and even though the most I’ve ‘earned’ are t-shirts and prizes, it is still lots of fun. I may be a Personal Assistant during working hours but I’m definitely a wannabe-writer the rest of the time.
10.) Standing up for myself. To my parents and in-laws. My parents barely speak to me and my mother-in-law will never look at me in the same way again but I refuse to back down and be walked over. If people cannot accept that I deserve respect, they don’t deserve to be a big part of my life.
What are things you refuse to feel guilty for?