Sunday night blues

Had the most wonderful weekend in Hermanus.  We took leave on Friday and drove through early in the morning.  The weather was awesome, the whales were plentiful and we stayed in our favourite hotel.  Ate too much and took it easy – it was a weekend filled with relaxation and tea (by the pool at the hotel).  I didn’t swim but sat down by the pool with a book and enjoyed a couple of cups in the sun.  It was bliss.

Being away from the office and all the stress and politics was awesome.  We drove back today and I had such a heavy heart.  I can just feel this big cloud of tension returning and I’m sitting here feeling terribly sorry for myself.  It isn’t the job itself that I don’t enjoy.  I love working for my amazing boss.  I enjoy helping his clients and I like the actual work.  It is the other people.  Some colleagues can be so awful.  Nothing nice to say and completely incapable of being happy for another person.  It is draining.  I’ve started keeping to myself more and more at the office.  Sometimes I don’t even take lunch, just work through.  Or read a book.  I have stopped going to social functions with the office because some people cannot behave after a couple of drinks and I’m tired of pretending their rudeness is acceptable.

I feel like the company’s dumpsite for everything that no-one wants to do.  Literally anything that is beneath anyone else gets dumped my way.  I get dragged into projects I know nothing about (and have to learn instantly) and anything that everyone else says no to, gets thrown my way.  With incomplete instructions I have to muddle through and of course get little thanks and no credit.

I’m actually planning on saying something this week.  I got asked to help with something way beyond my knowledge and experience last month and of course after zero feedback I know I’ll be asked to do it again in 2 months.  I’m going to make an appointment with HR to discuss this.  Also I get non-work related tasks tossed my way by someone who runs a massive department but obviously feels it appropriate to give me something that her own staff could do.  It is degrading at the best of times.  Her message is basically “my own staff’s time is more important than yours”.

So I’m not the happiest of people at the moment.  Sipping tea and hoping this feeling passes very soon.

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